New Flame...

But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. (Jeremiah 20:9)

God's been cranking up the heat inside. Back from Ottawa in a week.

Moving to Ottawa!

… in about 4 years. It sounds a long way off, but plans need to be underway for an effective transition. This still fits in with the '30 year plan', with some slight adjustments. This also puts a timeframe in terms of what we hope to accomplish and the relationships we long to build while we’re here in Toronto.

The future has been a struggle, and my heart is so far ahead of where my understanding and experience is at. In Ottawa, I’ll be without my immediate family and community, although a remnant of friendships remain from my internship days. The five acres of land I had once dreamed about purchasing on the outskirts of Ottawa has since been acquired to become a residential zone. With the disturbingly high rates of failure in church plants, having fewer connections and resources available, is also less than encouraging. And yet we go. Carrying with us all the uncertainties knowing only that God is faithful.

How many of us desperately long for God to give us some sign of what to do? How many of us know what to do and are either stuck standing still and overwhelmed or finding ways to move forward while leveraging out all the consequences, suffering, and pain that may come in the journey ahead? I definitely have my share of fears.

I'm encouraged that the Scriptures are filled with men and women who were afraid. Time and time again God reminded our ‘heroes’ not to fear, but to be strong and courageous. It has dawned on me that when our souls crash against these trials and God reminds us to take joy, it is because He is on the verge of acting on our behalf as we run forward with him. On the flipside, If we are not afraid, could it be that we don’t have a full grasp of what God truly wants us to do in this life?

I’ve been learning that the essence of biblical courage is based on a life lived from the inside out. A life that makes decisions and acts not based on consequences or circumstances, but based on convictions. Convictions established not only by who I am or what I’m called to live out, but on who God is and in His character.

I wrote in my personal journal thoughts of claiming all of Ottawa for Jesus... to reconstruct the city into a city of God… to take this present kingdom and bring it to its knees before our Lord... to release people from life as we know it, and unleash them to live life to the fullest as our Creator designed us to… to start from the nation’s capital and spill over across the country… Can a nation be changed?

Rhythm, Campus, Sex, and Hope...

I can honestly say that I like my pace of life right now. God has been speaking to me on so many levels. The excitement and urgency for life has been there as usual, but more importantly a reflective stream of peace and assurance has been flowing down under. Not necessarily all at the same time, but a rhythm that my heart just loves beating to.

We recently had an all day ‘meeting’ at the woodbine race track for work. They brought, Canadian Olympic gold medalist, Adam van Koeverden, to come speak to us about perseverance. It’s amazing how many people left inspired by a kid at least half their age. This was another affirmation to me that this world can be led by those who risk and strive to live from the core of who they are, and not necessarily by those who are ‘older’ or more experienced.

I just spoke at UTCCF Friday night. What a great bunch. I miss the campus and all that it represents. Diversity, culture, future, leadership, exploration, possibilities, passion… it is such a privileged environment to be in. Maybe we’re not sending out enough missionaries. In Toronto at least, it seems like God’s brought the nations to our doorsteps.

Last night our newly weds group got together again, and the topic for the night was… sex. All I want to say about it was that it was a strenuous test of maturity for me. Yvonne thinks I really need to work being able to keep a straight face with a lot of this stuff, especially if I’m going to be counseling people in the future. Well, I only uncontrollably giggled inappropriately once… and that was only because people were being graphic, and all I was thinking in my head was ‘you can do this… you’re doing it… you’re almost looking professional…’ and then burst realizing how hard I was trying.

On a more deeper and personal note… Yvz and I have been having some ‘soul talk’ and been realizing some more subtle condemning attitudes that we have. These dispositions are so challenging because they are so deep rooted and easily disguised as a genuine desire for good. For me, I’ve come to realize that I am designed and built my life around a lens of hope and goodness. Which isn’t a bad thing, but when I encounter those who are disheartened, or perceived as having lost hope, I have a hard time allowing them to be as they are. What got me was the conviction that some people might be able to sense a level of disappointment within me about who they are as a person… and that’s flat out wrong and needs to change.

What gets to me even more is how a person of hope and confidence in God such as myself, could ever feel a loss of hope in people? Something that came out while I was speaking Friday was that – if God believes in us, more than we could ever believe in him. Maybe we need to believe in people, more than they believe in themselves.

Of all people, followers of Jesus should be speakers of truth and hope to all humanity.

Visit to Saddleback...

I can’t say I visited Saddleback with much anticipation. Over the year’s I’ve become weary of the squabbling between the lovers and haters of its purpose driven ministry, but I had to experience it for myself. After visiting the stadium rock worship at the Dream Center, Saddleback’s orderly worship service felt just like that, a service.

Every component of it was timed to the tee. Everyone knew when to stand and when to sit. Many of the men war Rick Warren’s patented Hawaiian shirts. The message was well crafted, biblical and applicable with a dash of humor. No complaints. The rest of Saddleback though was like a Pastor’s playground.

The campus held eight different services in four separate worship tent… each one catering to a different musical style. The children’s center was a massive facility with Disney-esque amenities. They had their own palm trees, waterfalls, restaurants, and golf carts. I wasn’t sure how to process it all. Everyone else seemed like this was normal.

That’s when it struck me that though many people I know would not be interested in being part of a massive ‘institution’ like Saddleback (See largest churches in the world link). Yet somehow, while foreign to me in all it's structure and opulence, this was a church that was missional and relevant to its surrounding culture.

I just found out that they’re going through their 40 days of community now. Part of that involves feeding all 34,000 homeless people in Orange County for 3 meals a day for 40 days! It’s amazing how some churches can take on initiatives like this and make an impact. In all sincerity the 40 days of purpose campaign and reading of the purpose driven life seems to have just come and went in my own church. We’ve never been ones to follow any mold though I guess. I’ve been very encouraged to hear that my old church, OCAC, in Ottawa has been effectively rallying behind it as a community.

This dude is so ordinary! Final thought… as bland and uncharismatic as I find Rick Warren can be… (I want to believe that he intentionally strips away all creativity, to offer a template, so others can adapt and be imaginative with his material in its rawest form)… Warren’s humble beginning, from a small group of seven people to a global movement, inspires me. Warren is a testimony of what God can do through those who are simply willing to dream and use their gifts for greater purposes.

Phoenix...

I’m in phoenix right now. The skies are unbelievably blue, and the city itself is a miraculous flatland surrounded by mountains. I find it intriguing how the dry and cracked earth resembled the sun-scorched skin many of the locals had… nothing at all against them, but it’s fascinating that there is this observable relationship between the land and its people.

On my way to the resort, I had an excellent conversation with the cab driver who was a business student from Somalia. We shared our dreams… mine of leading a community of faith and his of starting a business and marrying four wives (since it’s religiously legit there). It was hilarious. He shared about how family values are all messed up in America. I picked his brain on living in Africa. He plans on returning home a hero, as an educated entrepreneur. With all the people aiding, developing, and even capitalizing on the needs and opportunities in Africa, it’s amazing how much need remains. I left quite pumped about going there someday.

The conference for work was one of the better ones. I find myself being acutely attentive to the way people speak / present. After two years of telling people I’ll be joining toastmasters, I think I’m finally on the cusp of committing. I have so much that I’m passionate about. I would love to hone my abilities to communicate it all to people.

Other updates...
I attended the Tribe of Issachar event - Beyond the King's Gate. Our own ETCBC, Pastor Alfred Lam spoke on the story of Esther. He challenged the crowd of future leaders to explore why we have been so blessed and placed in such a privileged position.

I met up with my mentor and I was blown away as usual. Each time I'm encountered by real stories of hardship and experiences that make much of what I am often convicted of seem merely theoretical. I have so much more life to live.

Our community opened up for a Thanks&Giving dinner, organized by yours truly. Another reminder that my organizational and event planning skills are lacking. I attempted to visit every small group in our church to enourage people to invite friends... many people said that the night was a success, but even with the challenges of inviting people to an event such as this, I still couldn't help but feel that God has placed more people than this in our lives. All that being said, the predominant theme in my life the last while, is that above all else, even results, we simply need to be faithful.

I wanted to be Catalyst this weekend... looking forward to hearing people's experiences from it.

Prayer Reflections...

A few thoughts I jotted down after a recent time of prayer.

I find that I often pray, “God give me strength…”. Although God is the source of all strength, I think we often confuse God’s promises and our responsibilities. I am convinced that when we pray for God’s strength we are sometimes looking for a fallback if things don’t work out. As if God didn’t meet His end of the bargain. In Judges 6, God calls Gideon to simply “Go in the strength that you have”. Dare I be bold enough to come to God, ready to respond and pray, “God I will…” instead?

God then spoke to me on His unconditional love. I hear followers of Jesus all the time, talking about how they have blown it with God. How they feel worse off than when they first began, because now they know that there is a loving God that longs to transform them –and they still find themselves steeped in sin. God’s heart pressed into mine and it resonated the words “your continued sins do not diminish my love for you one bit.”

An explosion set off inside of me, as I felt the love of God pouring in and erupting out of me because it could no longer fit inside my tiny heart. I took a breath and realized that my very breath was a testimony of God’s great compassion. That each day that I woke was evidence of God’s forgiveness, patience, and purposes in my life.

I did not ask God for more strength, but I declared… I will not let the air in my lungs go to waste. I will not let the precious days He gives me slip by without being seized. I will be a light to those around me. And I will honor Him in all that I do, because He is worthy of it.

One last thought in hindsight… I’m not one to talk about conviction of sin all of the time, but Yvz and I have been challenging each other not to condemn people… we find we do it subtly when we comment on those who have more than us and those who have less than us… it could be financially, spiritually, whatever. This experience affirmed to me that there is no condemnation when we realize we are incredibly loved despite the depths of human depravity within our own hearts

For my fellow Erwin McManus ‘fans’…
Videos at the APU chapels (3 in the archives, and 2 coming in October)
Video service at Onnuri in Korea
WillowCreek 2003 – This one’s an oldie but a goodie that they've kept on their site.
Audio Sermon at Richland Hills

Homeless in the city...

I joined the university kids for The Lord’s Table sandwich run ministry downtown yesterday. It’s been a while since the last time I’ve spent a night directly in contact with the homeless.

Many of them were lying up against the office buildings. The images of cardboard shelters, tired looking faces, and dirty hands - against the backdrop of office cubicles and flat screen monitors lit by fluorescent lighting, burned in my mind. It is insanity that such a thin piece of glass divides the sanitized corporate world from the stained reality that surrounds it.

At least they have blinds. That way, office workers can get back to the task at hand when the lights and sights that invade cause any form of uneasiness.

The truth is that it’s supposed to rob us of our peace of mind. We are designed to naturally feel tormented in our gut when encountering other human beings in distress. Suffering has a face, and poverty has a name.

That night his name was Vince and I could feel in my bones that God had created him for so much more. I tried to be a voice of hope, but I knew that I was up against years of him having accepted his place in life. I’d like to think that as our team of four sat around him and let him speak his mind and listened to him, for a moment in time, he experienced validation as a human being, respect, and even love.

I find it fascinating how in this early career stage of life, it is often difficult scheduling a time to meet up with other busy friends. Yet with those on the streets, I left with a sense that I could count on them being there anytime I chose to visit. There's something wrong with that, in more ways then one.

Los Angeles Dream Center

I wasn’t sure what to expect from the Dream Center. I knew it was one of the fastest growing churches in America. Browsing their webpage, after seeing a picture of their pastor, Matthew Barnett, I found myself still wondering who the real pastor was. He looked younger than me!

It is in fact a father son duo leading the church, but it’s astonishing what God can do through what those we may at a glance view as inadequate. I attended the Thursday night service, in the Angeles Temple site. Angeles Temple was built in 1923, where Aimee Semple McPherson would preach to a full capacity of 5,300 people, three times a day, seven days a week. Today they reach the physical and spiritual needs of over 30,000 every week, feeding and housing people. They have a highly community oriented approach to ministry, they call adopt-a-block, and from what I’ve read over 80% of their congregation live within two miles of the church unlike most scattered metropolitan churches today.

How was the experience? Walking towards the church in it’s fairly ghetto neighborhood, you could hear the church / stadium rocking out. It was like rumblings of hope in a place where the poverty was obvious. The spirit and energy of the people there were amazing. Its Pentecostal flavor reminded me of an amped-up version of a church I attended while I lived in Hamilton, Living Hope. The message was powerful, and there was a time of healing / repentance after. Yvz and I left blown away.

This was my first time taking a picture during a church service. I felt a bit odd, butI tried to take solace in the fact that I was a tourist.

Random Updates...

Life has been a bit erratic the last while. I’ve fallen ill again. All the usual cold/flu symptoms and worst of all, fatigue, and an inability to fall sleep. The apartment is a complete mess. After a trip around world to Tel Aviv, Hong Kong, and Montreal, El Al airlines just returned my palm 13 days later. It’s completely dead, dented and missing its memory card. My car stereo’s locked me out, the speaker’s busted, and the windows chipped. The to-do lists are piling up. Lying in my bed, I’ve started informally composing a poem that I’ll finish up later. It’s called… I want to change the world, but I need to wash dishes. I’ve hacked at least two glasses of phlegm today. I’ve vowed to start taking care of myself and start exercising. My wife’s in Ottawa this week, and I miss her.

On top of all that, I’ve learned today that I’m currently taking up excessive ecological footprint. If everyone on earth lived the way I do, we would need 5 planets. How about you?

Happy Birthday to me!

My Birthday BBQ Bash that Yvonne organized

God? Marriage? What?...

A friend of mine asked me last night out of the leftfield, ‘why does the Bible refer to God as a male?” I was a bit startled at first, and then I couldn’t get over the fact that I didn’t have a thought out answer for such a simple question. I decided to just open my mouth and let the words roll off my lips.

I told him that we were all made, both man and women, in the image of God. That the characteristics and traits of both men and women were both intended to reflect who God was. I told him that I think that the Bible refers to God as male because of the relationship He intended for us to have with Him. The Bible calls the church the bride of Christ, and our relationship with Him is so very similar to that of marriage between a man and a woman. God, as the great giver and the great initiator pursues us and sacrifices for us – that we might know of His unfailing love. We receive from Him and are blessed by Him. In return we spend all our lives in a spiral of joy exchanging love and thanks until the giver and the receiver become indistinguishable.

God longs to be in relationship with us, to transform us, that we might have his heart for people and his passion for life.

Speaking of marriage, here’s our latest wedding newsletter, and some links to pics.

Back from California...

I'm backlogged in thoughts and pictures. The travelling was a nightmare, but everything in between was most excellent. We travelled via El AL (Air Israel) since they offered the only direct flights. There's too much to say about our experience, but I just looked up a few descriptions of typical EL AL security like this and this, and you can get a taste of what we got. Yvonne and I must have been prime suspects going both ways...

Otherwise, the trip was an incredible blessing for our marriage... we're both looking forward to sharing and acting out on so much of what we've learned. Here's a few quick pics below, more to come...

Sweet California, I miss you already..

A mosaic of ... Mosaic at the night club site. We finally met Erwin McManus. Check out the sweat stains on him after the intense message!

Us at Monterey for our first year anniversary

I'm Off!!

Wish I had time to post more... I'm off to L.A. and San Francisco...

God - The Greatest Believer...

For those who you who have given me the opportunity to speak and to share know that I love speaking words of life, hope and encouragement (Like the one in the clip above). The other day, I found myself feeling overwhelmed at the journey ahead of me… Who am I Lord? What sacrifices must I make? Can a man make it to the finish line without ever seeing the harvest? Do I have what it takes? Feeling downcast, I sensed the voice of God telling me that I am going to have to start believing some of the things that I so boldly declare to others.

I am a child of God (John 1:12). His very creation of this life of mine demonstrates that God believes in me more than I could ever believe in Him. God does not make crap, and did not design me desiring that I should fail or disappoint, but formed me with passionate expectation and intentionality. Before I was born He knew me, and had hopes and purposes to be accomplished in my life and through my life (Jeremiah 1:5). Even though I have failed, He risked the life of His own Son, to redeem me. In hopes that I might turn back and embrace the person He believed I could become.

A person who has been uniquely created by God, with gifting and talents and passions that are waiting to be unleashed. My life is marked by the fingerprints of the creator of the universe Himself. I was created to reflect the awesomeness displayed in Christ - it is the birth right of every child of God. He has given to me more than enough and I will not hold back from who he has crafted me to become. “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness…” (2 Peter 1:3)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (Marianne Williamson, from her 1992 book, "Return to Love", supposedly incorrectly attributed to Nelson Mandela n the past.)

Yvonne goes snaphappy!

See what you can do with 15 minutes waiting for friends in Ottawa?

Being Fully Present...

What a fantastic time in Ottawa. I miss living in that simple city. This long weekend consisted of friends, family, BBQ’s, walks along the river, and relaxing good times – the usual in the town of Ottawa.

A good friend once told me that maybe I could impact lives when I was away on campus, and maybe I could make a difference in people while I resided in Ottawa, but Toronto was a totally different scene. As I moved back, I took that challenge with anticipation and excitement.

I’ve been back 2 years now and he was right. The city is bigger and the people are busier. And I’ve become another local. Noises pervade conversations about what colors to paint the walls, where the latest deals are, who the latest celebrity is to trash, where the next event is, and of course what the latest gripes about work are. Nothing wrong with these discourses, but they permeate and press in against our minds. Somewhere lodged deep within the heart of this city is either an inability to move beyond the past or a relentless longing for a future that has yet to come, to avoid a life that awaits us here and now.

Even spirituality needs to be scheduled to fit. I suspect there’s an underlying thought that we suffer as Christians when we have managed to take fifteen minutes out of our busy schedule to pray or read scripture. Or we have suffered when we didn’t do as well on an assignment or a project because we had to be at fellowship or serving in some other capacity. What I read in the bible is that the early Christians suffered ‘for the sake of the gospel’. Not for the things we’ve reduced it down to. Something's drastically wrong with the Christianity that surrounds me.

I listened to a message on the call of Jesus to be “fully present” by Rob Bell, while I drove up to Ottawa. I even had to multi-task this sermon into my life to hear it. This message continues to encourage me to live out the preciousness of life today. Ottawa was the perfect place for me to start practicing this journey of being fully present. I actually stopped myself from thinking other things as people talked to me and listened to them. Yvonne and I actually purposely don't answer the phone sometimes now. I actually listen to myself breathe again from time to time.

In the adult world, ‘busy’ seems to be the new ‘cool’. A feeling wells up inside me when I talk to younger people that say they can’t wait to grow up and be where people like me are at. It’s a feeling of sadness that comes to me that they might not be enjoying every bit of life that they have right where they are. It also saddens me even more to think that at their current trajectory they could just end up filling their lives with walls to paint and bills to pay... becoming just another busy Toronto local. I pray we don’t let that happen.

Leaving for Ottawa tonight...

I'm so late. Had to wrap up some last minute work before the holidays, and finish the remaining 70% of my paper. I don't usually do this because most of my papers are fairly dry, but here's my paper on Gospel, Church and Culture. It was a bit crammed, and I had to follow a bit of an outline and use a select number of resources. but enough of the excuses, feel free to peruse if you got the time.

I'm also using the w.bloggar tool for a change. Google it yourself if you're looking for a blogger GUI tool. I'm running really late and not sure why I'm writing, but just wanted to declare the goodness of God in my life. Buried in papers, but it's been awesome. Laters all, my wife in Ottawa awaits me.

What makes you come alive?

I'm knee deep immersed in writing my final integration paper for Gospel, Church, and Culture today. I got caught behind because I was speaking at UTCCF this past week on outreach. It was excellent to be back involved in campus ministry again, even if just for a moment.

I also managed to read two John Eldredge books this past week, Wild at Heart and Waking the dead. Besides the fact that I've been leading a new Men's sunday school class, this was oddly spurred on due to Tony's comments that my post reminded him of Eldredge's writing. Strange how we often flock to those with similar views. There are definitely similar themes with him and McManus, although I still think Erwin is a better wordsmith. Two quotes that remain off the top from Wild at Heart:

Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Most men, marry for safety; they choose a woman who will make them feel like a man but never really challenge them to be one.

I know I definitely married a woman that challenges me to the person God had called me to be every single day. Thank God. However, I don't think writing papers makes me come alive, but speaking to students, encouraging and, building them up in Christ sure does. Alas, I must get back to the paper. I guess I must go through the valley if I want to stand upon the mountain...

xxxChurch and Mosaic...

I read this excellent article this morning (the string of comments afterwards is what was really insightful), regarding xxxchurch ministry and their experience at Mosaic church.

x3church is a very interesting organization that seeks to go directly engage the world of pornography with the love of Christ while providing hope to those who have been entangled by it. They actually provide free accountability software/services for those who are interested.

Mosaic is a very extraordinary church that meets in a nightclub. You won’t find much on their website, but I’ve read volumes about after reading three books by their lead pastor, Erwin McManus. We’ll be visiting it this summer when Yvonne and I head down to LA.

The article and its comments illustrate the ongoing struggles when leading edge ministries that seek to free people from porn/religion or a combination of two collide and Christians start opening their mouths (Some excellent and a few not so bright thoughts throughout).

Jesus Sings...

I’ve never heard anyone describe this. Or at least I never noticed it before, but check this verse out…

“Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers. He says,
‘I will declare your name to my brothers;
in the presence of the congregation I will sing your praises’” (Hebrews 2:11-12)

I had to backtrack and read this over a few times, because my gut reaction is that it implies we’re the ones who sing praises… but if I’m reading this correctly, it’s Jesus that sings our names. Imagine that. Our voices intermingled in harmony with Jesus singing praises in heaven! This reminds me of Zephaniah 3:17

"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

Who is this King of Glory that pursues us with his love? Who sings with us and to us?
Here’s a link on Matt Redman’s thoughts on the Father’s Song, a song he wrote based on this verse.

Random links...

My coworker, Cliff, who i've been overtly reaching out to just started his own blog. Some humbling remarks on myself I might add. Thanks Cliff it's an honour to be sharing my faith journey with you.

A speaker that has influenced my life a lot lately, Erwin McManus talks about the Primal Essence of Leadership here. Absolutely anyone involved with leading the movement of Jesus Christ should take 40 minutes to list to this.

Here's a hilarious link on how to seem smart.

Out of commission...

Who thought that last post was lame? That was the seminary student side of me coming out… intrigued with social commentary / academia and all that jazz. My apologies, some days it feels extremely important to me, other times (like right now) it seems embarrasingly like meaningless drivel.

Back to what’s actually going on. I’ve been so fired up lately about running hard for God. I have been encouraging everyone with how I would rather run hard and stumble forward landing flat facing God than sit idle and allow the world around me to press against and shape me. I even told my mentor last week (almost braggingly) how I haven’t been sick in years. Until now…

I woke up Sunday morning with my head throbbing and my throat dirt dry. Not the best of timing as I was to be leading prayer meeting that morning (arrived late), kicking off the "Men of Faith" Sunday school class (drank water profusely throughout), presenting Monday downtown for some cross training (struggled through), share at our Shake&Shine team meeting (which I have now wisely cancelled), and speaking at a campus fellowship on outreach (which God graciously delayed a week).

This morning pure natural ability won over human will power. I told myself that today for the first time in our marriage I would sleep in past Yvonne. I couldn’t do it, and though feverishly sick, I got out of bed by seven. I’m not sure if it is some kind of medical condition I have or not, but I realized as I struggled to stay horizontal, that I wake up every morning feeling my heart rapidly beating. It races onwards until I get up and start doing something, plateau-ing as my body gets into rhythm with the pumping of the blood. I think in my mind I get the sense the world is moving on without me and I'm missing out... so I press on.

I’ve learned much these past few days. I’ll jot’em down later. As for now I must start listening to that voice I thought I slayed years ago, and get some rest, “the spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Matthew 26:41).

The New Public Square

I've been taking Gospel, Church and Culture this summer at Tyndale. Here are some excerpts from an interesting article I recently finished - The not-so-naked new public square by Rodney Clapp:

"Shopping malls have quite consciously been built and presented as public squares, commons, or downtowns. Mall architecture incorporates-albeit in an artificial, thermostatically regulated fashion-many of the fixtures of older downtown areas. Walkways are laid out in squares and rectangles, urging circuitous wandering. Fountains shoot. Trees and lesser greenery soften and enliven the scene. Benches invite rest, lingering, and the possibility of conversation. Amphitheaters await performances and audiences.

In addition, malls no longer simply sell products in myriad stores. They have expanded to include chapels, dentists, optometrists, medical clinics, counseling centers, ice rinks, miniature golf courses, food courts, childcare, banking services, postal services, and branch offices of local, state, and federal governments. Some (such as the famous Mall of America, which sports its own zip code) include full-scale amusement parks. Others (such as Canada's West Edmonton Mall) contain zoos.

More deliberately, a Minnesota coalition of Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, and others have established the Mall Area Religious Council to establish a "spiritual presence" at the Mall of America. According to its webpage, the Council plans to open The Meaning Store at the mall in 1997. "It will be a store where "meaning in life" is made available in a spiritual manner." Patrons may use the store's Reflection Center for meditation and worship, glean "reliable information about local and world religious traditions," or shop for "books, music, [and] artifacts of world religions."

For all the good intentions behind it, The Meaning Store crowns mall culture's victory. It reduces Christianity, Judaism, and other faiths to name brands, objects of comparison shopping. They are simply differently packaged containers of "meaning in life," now made available for today's purchase and, should it be desired, tomorrow's disposal.

So The Meaning Store is the perfect religious symbol of the trivialization of real choices in the new public square's endless promotion of pseudo-choice. It is true that the malls, with their rows on rows of stores, apparently overflow with choice. But mall stores carry a small, least-common-denominator stock that can cater only to the taste of the masses-not to those who would genuinely be different in their clothing, jewelry, reading, or music listening. More significantly, mall culture inhibits community; it denies and destroys smaller ways of life, such as folk songs and art, or strains of apples and brews of beer peculiar to a region. As Wendell Berry puts it, mall culture will not allow us to conform to local ways and conditions, but forces on us "a rootless and placeless monoculture of commercial expectations and products."

In like manner, The Meaning Store presumes faiths are, finally, not that different from one another. By confining Christianity (among others) to "meaning in life," and commodifying it, the Store endorses an attitude of spiritual seeking as shopping and makes the "customer" sovereign. Seriously obscured, if not lost, is any sense that the seeker's desires might be misguided and in need of conversion, a transformation wrought by a Sovereign other than the self. And so buried, too, is the glorious hope that the seeker might make the really important and significant choice, the choice to petition the God "whose power, working in us, can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine" (Ephesians 3:20) and embark on an adventure bigger than any mortal individual's meager dreams and puny plans."

After typing all that I just found the full article here.

Goodness that article was longer than I thought. To spice things up, here's a link to 10 free legal tracks to be downloaded from futureshop to the first 10,000 people who sign in June 12th.

Also if you're interested in investing in some land on the moon...

Crazy old man...

I went to a conference this weekend and one of the guest speakers was Paul Henderson, the hockey dude who scored the ‘goal of the century’ for Canada in ’72. He was awesome. In sixty-year-old-man-rhetoric, he was speaking about how as Christians we are not here to ‘fiddle & fart around’, but to impact people forever.

As he was speaking I wrote down the words “Crazy Old Man” and circled it, thinking ‘wow, I hope I’m at least half that crazy when I grow up’. There is nothing crazier than denying yourself and following Jesus (Matthew 16:24). You should be considered a little crazy if you wake up in the morning longing to give all that you have to the purposes of God - impacting lives in this life and for all eternity.

As I am getting older I feel the pull to become normal, to settle, to conform, creeping in. I am told that I must abdicate passions for obligations and consider it a step forward in ‘maturity’. I must establish myself, develop habits, becoming effective, well-rounded, and time-managed. Whatever happened to becoming Spirit-led? Being God-inspired? And being created with a divine purpose that no one else on earth could fulfill but you?

From hearing 20 minutes with Paul Henderson you would know that he is one of those crazy passionate followers of Jesus. The ones who make you stop and wonder if you’re really living or just safely watching life go by through a thin piece of glass. I wonder how many of us, especially those who claim to be ‘spiritual’, ‘religious’, or even ‘Christian’ are already dead. A came across an excellent passage this morning to evaluate the state of our souls.

“There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-- having a form of godliness but denying its power.” (2 Timothy 3:3)

The last verse got to me the most, as it reminded of the lyrics of a song called believe.

I’m not satisfied - doing it my own way
I’m not satisfied - to do church and walk away
I’m not satisfied - there’s no love in my life but You
I’m not satisfied - living in yesterday’s hour
I’m not satisfied - to have the form but not the power

I’m not satisfied… and I refuse to seep down into the world average, especially average Christianity. My life will count because God has blessed, empowered and created me to do so (He’s done the same for you as well). I will give myself to learning to be a follower Jesus because He is worthy of being followed. I will not live an ordinary life. Mine will also be one that is crazy and extraordinary. Hold me to it.

A Passionate Pursuit...

Reading from 1 Timothy 6 this morning,

“But you, man of God, flee from all this (love of money and evil), and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith.” (Timothy 6:11-12)

There is absolutely nothing passive about this. To aggressively flee from the desires of this world and passionately pursue the character of God in our lives is far from passive. Conversely, to take the path of least resistance, accepting our circumstances, and attempting to fulfill our own personal desires like the rest of the world – that’s passive. That’s status quo, commonplace, nothing new, same old - same old, mundane, life as we know it.

What an absurd lie this world tells us. Maybe one day we’ll grow up and perhaps get a job that might pay the bills and could possibly fund our happiness. It’s production for the sake of consumption. And every day we long to be free from where we’re at, and though we think that we’re absolutely free to choose, we find we’re only prisoners of our past choices.

Some of us end up finding religion, and whatever it is, it calls for us to restrain our passions that we might become better people. This isn’t what Jesus called us to though. While religions like Buddhism may center around the annihilation of desire, Jesus calls us to an acceleration of passion. One where we become so passionately in love with God and people that He loves, that they are worth fighting and living, and dying for.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it (Matthew 25:16).

Jesus says here that to join him on the adventure of truly living we must die to the life that we have lived. No small task, as we’ve spent our entire lives living this way and so has everyone else around us. To choose Jesus is not easy but difficult. The way is paved with uncertainty and risk, yet it is right and leads to life to the fullest.

At the end of the chapter, Paul encourages Timothy that giving really is the highest level of living, and that in doing so we “may take hold of the life that is truly life.” (1 Timothy 6:19).

What is life? It’s receiving the awesome Love of God and spending our days passionately giving as much of it away as we can. .

The happy couple of the day

Yvz and I - obviously the more mature couple

Dan takes a self portrait... what a beautiful man

Wendy and Nap's head phasing into warp speed

Boyz of Bates 519 (Andy, Myself, Jensen, Nap) together again. 3 of us married now, 1 to go.

One last purple nurple before the honeymoon

Called to truly live...

It is amazing how as Christians we are freed from the bondages of sin and still struggle with it. What is even more amazing is how it has caused us to become so focused on the elimination of sin that we have become paralyzed to the endless possibilities of doing incredible good in this world.

When we arrange our lives around becoming 'sin-free'’, we set ourselves up for passive, mediocre, and restrictive lives. On top of that the Bible tells us that failing to do good is sin in itself (James 4:17). We need to stop aiming for zero and start seeking the 'life to the fullest' that Jesus offers out to us (John 10:10). We need to see holiness as not only what we set ourselves apart from, but what we give our lives to.

Bugs and slugs are alive. As humans we are called to live an extraordinary life to the fullest. Christ promises that this new life of adventure begins with Him.

Prayer / Passion...

Last night at our small group, we all had the opportunity to break out and spend some meaningful time with God which was great. I find my prayer life is still in its very early stages of developemnt and has been somewhat at a low the last while. I believe it is because I've replaced it with a lot of reading... i've been learning at an accelerated rate the last while, and I have much to share from it, but at the same time, much of it can be reduced to heresay... rumours of someone else's conversation with God.

I've made a renewed commitment to listening to God. Last night the phrase that God is a jealous God was impressed upon me. That God is so passionate about me and so desires that I receive his blessing, that it causes what humans would equate as a form of jealousy.

It also dawned on me with all that I talk to others about passion, there is no one more passionate than the living and redeeming God himself. It came to me that as I draw closer to Him, He will give me this passion as well.

Overflow...

May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word. (Thessalonians 2:16-17)

There is nothing like a follower of Jesus who is God-inspired and God-taught. Having a conversation with a coworker yesterday reminded me of the immense difference between sustaining a life ‘God-free’ and living a life God-moved.

I remember not very long ago, both before knowing Jesus as well as after, when my life centered around my own desires with occasional random acts of kindness for my fellow citizens of the world.

I remember trying to motivate myself to press onwards – either through the few words of encouragement the world around me offered, or by completely ignoring the haunting thought that all my efforts could quite possibly be absolutely meaningless.

I remember in my attempts to build relationships or to love others, and behind it all at the core was not a desire to build and to give, but a craving for affirmation and a subtle yearning for others to replace my loneliness and lack of purpose. These efforts tainted by a sense of emptiness ultimately ended in excruciating relationships, tiring friendships, and suffocating embraces.

Today the Word of God reminds me that it is “because God first loved us…” (1 John 4:19). It is because of having received a sacrificial and pure love that is beyond any form of self-centered human love, that we able to do the same. It is because we are given ‘eternal encouragement’ and ‘hope’ that we can give out of abundance and not out of emptiness.

Sometimes in our culture it’s so rare that we hear of God and hope, but here’s something that I recently put to heart, straight from the Word of God,

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13).

Freedom Sessions...

Each Sunday this spring, Yvonne and I have had the honor and privilege of leading Freedom Sessions at ETCBC. As a solid group of 10-12 people, each week we’ve shared an incredibly wide spectrum of a life in Christ – from struggles with sin, temptation, hurt, to embracing identity, truths, community, accountability, passions, and reaching out. Every single individual has such potential as God’s unique creation and child – I can’t wait to see every single person breaking out and living out their God-given purposes in life. Each time we pray for our class, Yvz and I always thank God for this wonderful opportunity to somehow touch and hopefully impact lives for God as a couple. Praise God for all He's done and will continue to do!

Little Aliens...

This is one of our favorite photos together... we look like little space martians!

Here's how we biked all the way down the volcano in Maui

Known by our Faith...

The Lord's message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia--your faith in God has become known everywhere." (1 Thessalonians 1:8)

I pray that as we live out the gospel, by the power of the Holy Spirit and conviction, our church community might become known by our faith in God - not by our preaching, teaching, events, worship styles, building, or demographics, but by our faith.

Blog names -for the record...

I had a difficult time trying to find a name for this blog site. I actually mulled it over a couple days and asked a friend for input. Some of them were actually taken, or declared as dumb after a bit of thought. Some 'highlights'included - HolyCheese, SuperBlessed, FreshCheese, CheeseAlive, toastedcorn, BibleBoy, RagingMonk, onelife, soulreflections, godismoving, secretagentlonwong, expagan, chasingjesus, soulmovement, uprising & freshbread. Pretty silly eh?

Imagine... Communities captured by God

Imagine a gathering of people who have each discovered a way to know and communicate with the Creator of the Universe. Each of them growing daily in purpose and passion as the God of heaven and earth reveals more of himself to them each passing moment. They share stories all day - personal teachings from the Greatest person to ever live – building one another up with nothing but words of encouragement and truth. Their excitement erupts into singing - each person uniquely expressing their thankfulness and praise to the one who gave them a life worth living.

This is the community that I imagine as Paul encourages the Colossians,

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. (Col 3:16)

A community of people so touched by the love of God and possessing the heart of God in whatever they do,

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him… Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.” (Col 3:17, 23)

Father God let me offer up this entire day to you.

A Honeymoon pic...

All the wedding pictures coming soon...

Being Renewed...

There is so much being taught in Colossians 3, I think I’m going to break out of my chapter a day mold and only meditate on the first half this morning.

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” (Col 3:1-2).

Just trying to imagine the scripture this morning – my life hid with Christ in God who is seated at the right hand of God. While I’m here on earth, I continue to set my heart on this vision of my life with Christ. This life is no longer mine and I am “being renewed in the knowledge in the image of its Creator” (Col 3:10).

This is an incredible thought, that God himself, the creator of the universe, has redeemed me and is renewing me in his image. A character with “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience…” (Col 3:12). Yvonne put it well yesterday when she gave me her description of God’s glory – as God’s character manifested in us. This is why we’re called sons and daughters of Glory!

Built up in Him...

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. (Colossians 2:6-7)

I think if I meditated on this just a couple years ago, I’d have a difficult time saying that I was rooted in Christ. I would probably say that I had more adapted Christ into the roots I already had. But today I know that I am rooted in him. Although I often forget and am even often deceived I know that at the root of my being the spirit of God resides there. The issue today is whether I’m being built up in him - sometimes I reject and disobey, often pulling down the bricks of my life as quickly as I lay them.

I’ve been learning that God takes the building of my character and my faith very seriously, much more seriously than my seriousness about doing great things for Him. I think I often put the cart before the horse when it comes to trying to transform those around me before I myself have been truly changed. It dawned on me today that possibly some people around me live apathetic lives due to what shows in my own life. The thought of this is excruciating to me, yet as a child of God I have this undying hope and utter thankfulness knowing that God will complete all that He has started. And there will come a time when I am all that He has called me to be.

From Colossians 1

"We pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in everyway..." (Col 1:10)

It's hard to picture what that looks like, "a life worthy of the Lord", but I think Paul answers it immediately by "pleasing him in everyway". This may look different for all of us depending on our circumstances and gifting. There's not much we can do about the circumstances that we're born into and the talents and gifting that each of us have. I can read books and go to conferences and grow some of my skills through that, but the honest truth is that much of who we are is who we are. But what we can change is the intensity and the passion we choose to use what God has given us and in doing so please God in everyway.

"We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me." (Col 1:28)

Paul gives an incredible example to live by, struggling, laboring, and working... while having God, and 'all his energy' working in us. I really want to be used by God to the fullest... and I hope that I can give absoluetely all that I can as He works in me.

Starting over again...

Well I've decided to start journaling online again. I've never managed to keep one of these going for more than a year. From my childhood days when I ran my own BBS to several sites I tried to maintain over the past 4 years. Hopefully by going with the simple blogger pre-set system it'll be a little easier to manage.

I've had several apprehensions about starting out again, one simply because I know it's not the best way of communicating with people. From everything I've learned about communicating to people things like blogs and email is that it may be efficient, but it's questionable whether it's actually effective. As my wonderful wife always tells me there's not like some good face to face. My friend ebrian mentions his struggles here trying to maintain friendships / conversations when some people read what you write while others don't.

The other thing that's been holding me back is that maybe I'm too old to be blogging. It's not like I don't have a million other things to do, and do I really want to expose my thoughts now that I'm an adult? Where most teens I know love sharing completely unfiltered, I find most adults I know have grown increasingly cautious about the things that they say... likely for fear of criticism and judgment.

I find that I too share these fears somewhat. That some may say "that's not completely correct", "I could have communicated that much better", "Is that as deep as he can go?"... I've been teaching others and learning myself the last while that these fears are false and in no way should stop any one of us from being who God has called us to be, just as we are.

Anyhow, I hope to journal online as a spiritual discipline. I find writing down my devotions solidify many of my thoughts and help me hold myself accountable. I hope that it also does provide some form of encouragement and that some of you might also be able to pull out a nugget or two of insight as I strive to be a genuine follower of Jesus.

From Utmost today...

God spoke to me in this excerpt from "My Utmost" today...

The first thing God does is remove any insincerity, pride, and vanity from my life. And the Holy Spirit reveals to me that God loved me not because I was lovable, but because it was in His nature to do so. Now He commands me to show the same love to others by saying “…love one another as I have loved you” (John 15:12). He is saying, “I will bring a number of people around you whom you cannot respect, but you must exhibit My love to them, just as I have exhibited it to you.”

This kind of love is not a patronizing love for the unlovable –it is His love, and it will not be evidenced in us overnight. Some of us may have tried to force it, but we were soon tired and frustrated…. Neither natural love nor God’s divine love will remain and grow in me unless it is nurtured. Love is spontaneous, but it has to be maintained through discipline.

It's crazy how I find I need to be reminded to love people, especially those who aren't easily loved. Yet it was this same unreasonable love that captured me when the creator of the universe broke into my life. God found me in the gutters of life, self-absorbed and aimless, and somehow as Paul says in the Bible, "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8) It's so easy to lose sight of this and get wrapped up in the non-essentials of life - we reject the call of God to love others - and we wonder why His voice quietly seems to fade from our lives.

I find it so interesting that while we as humans spend our lives trying to fill ourselves only to find ourselves empty, Jesus emptied himself and lived the fullest life possible. I pray that all of us this week have the opportunity to give ourselves to those the world sees as unlovable.