New Flame...

But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. (Jeremiah 20:9)

God's been cranking up the heat inside. Back from Ottawa in a week.

Moving to Ottawa!

… in about 4 years. It sounds a long way off, but plans need to be underway for an effective transition. This still fits in with the '30 year plan', with some slight adjustments. This also puts a timeframe in terms of what we hope to accomplish and the relationships we long to build while we’re here in Toronto.

The future has been a struggle, and my heart is so far ahead of where my understanding and experience is at. In Ottawa, I’ll be without my immediate family and community, although a remnant of friendships remain from my internship days. The five acres of land I had once dreamed about purchasing on the outskirts of Ottawa has since been acquired to become a residential zone. With the disturbingly high rates of failure in church plants, having fewer connections and resources available, is also less than encouraging. And yet we go. Carrying with us all the uncertainties knowing only that God is faithful.

How many of us desperately long for God to give us some sign of what to do? How many of us know what to do and are either stuck standing still and overwhelmed or finding ways to move forward while leveraging out all the consequences, suffering, and pain that may come in the journey ahead? I definitely have my share of fears.

I'm encouraged that the Scriptures are filled with men and women who were afraid. Time and time again God reminded our ‘heroes’ not to fear, but to be strong and courageous. It has dawned on me that when our souls crash against these trials and God reminds us to take joy, it is because He is on the verge of acting on our behalf as we run forward with him. On the flipside, If we are not afraid, could it be that we don’t have a full grasp of what God truly wants us to do in this life?

I’ve been learning that the essence of biblical courage is based on a life lived from the inside out. A life that makes decisions and acts not based on consequences or circumstances, but based on convictions. Convictions established not only by who I am or what I’m called to live out, but on who God is and in His character.

I wrote in my personal journal thoughts of claiming all of Ottawa for Jesus... to reconstruct the city into a city of God… to take this present kingdom and bring it to its knees before our Lord... to release people from life as we know it, and unleash them to live life to the fullest as our Creator designed us to… to start from the nation’s capital and spill over across the country… Can a nation be changed?